Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
