I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
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I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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