After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
