we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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