My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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