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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I felt like helen keller

  (810): View more from Michigan

  But she could have totally found that shit before me

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding

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• (914): View more from New York

  woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?

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• (646): View more from New York

  The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.

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• (415): View more from California

  HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE

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• (530): View more from California

  After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?

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• (954): View more from Florida

  He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?

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