So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
