She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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