those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
