Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
