Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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