i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
