I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Success! We fucked roommates!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
