Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
