Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
