3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
