normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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