She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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