Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
