just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
