3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
