proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
