I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
time to smoke my breakfast
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Randomize
