We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
