My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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