shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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