I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
