Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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