im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
