I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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