Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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