Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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