"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
