As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
