is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
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He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
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So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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