coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
