After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
