Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
