Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize