Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we're making bets on your personal life
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
