You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
