When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize