Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
