Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
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