I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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