Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize
