It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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