Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
