you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize