Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
birth control should be required to get into college
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize