I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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