Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
