He told me they were just razor bumps!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
