There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
