i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
