she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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