You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
