2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
