I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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