Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
