I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
