It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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