i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
