Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
