what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
