so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
